this is your life, are you who you want to be?

( Random Pictures :) )

An' when you cry, be sure to dry your eyes,
'Cause better days are sure to come.
An' when you smile, be sure to smile wide,
An' don't let them know that they have won.
An' when you walk, walk with pride: don't show the hurt inside,
Because the pain sill soon be gone.

An' when you dream, dream big,
As big as the ocean, blue.
'Cause when you dream it might come true.
But when you dream, dream big.

An' when you laugh, be sure to laugh out loud,
'Cause it will carry all your cares away.
An' when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself,
An' it will help you feel okay.
An' when you pray, pray for strength to help to carry on,
But when the troubles come your way.

An' when you dream, dream big,
As big as the ocean, blue.
'Cause when you dream it might come true.
But when you dream, dream big.

Instrumental break.
       (Dream big.)
       (Dream big.)

An' when you laugh, be sure, (Dream big.)
                                           to laugh out loud,
'Cause it will carry all your cares away.
And when you see, see the beauty, (Dream big.)
                                                   all around and in yourself,
An' it will help you feel okay.
An' when you pray, pray for strength to help to carry on,
But when the troubles come your way.

An' when you dream, dream big,
As big as the ocean, blue.
'Cause when you dream it might come true.
An' when you dream, dream big.

For Cantenn

And with the good, always comes the bad....

I'm starting to get really stressed out things are going very bad with Cantenn.  I'm trying really hard not to let it show to him, but he knows it's bothering me, and making me sad.  I have no idea what is gonna happen, but every single night I pray, I pray that things will get better for him, I pray that he gets to work ok, I pray he doesnt have another thing to add to his many troubles, and really that's all I can do is pray, and hope for the best.  I really havent been praying for the last couple years just because, things were ok, I would on occasion, but now it's like everynight.  I feel so bad for him all the time, all this bad shit happens to him, and he is such a good guy, he doenst deserve it.  It seems latley that everyday has gotten farily worst, and it's totally out of my control.  I feel so horrible that the man I love, I cant help, well it's not like he would let me help, but really I cant do anything but wait, and hope he is ok.

And I really hate hearing people say I "spend to much time with him" Ok yea, I do spend time with him, but no one really knows what is going on with him.  Im everything that he has, no one else around here (except for phil and the girls) really treat him with respect.  His mom is in jail, and all of his other family, lives in Arizona.  Why cant people ever be there for him, when he is always willing to help anyone out?  If only those of you who say that stuff,  really knew how bad it is. 

I really dont know what to do.  I just have to sit and watch him be miserable basically.  Which out of anyone in this world, he really doesnt deserve it.  All I want for Christmas is for nothing bad to happen no bad news for like 2 weeks, so we can both be happy, and not worry.  Well considering all this bad stuff, Cantenn trys to be happy, and act like everything is ok, but I can tell by looking at him he is frusterated, and sad.

Love

Lexy

I havent updated in a LONG freaking time, so I decided it's about time to.

School went amazingly well last quarter, and this quarter is going well too.  I made the B Honor role, hey it's better than nothing right?  I love Mr. Anderson!  He is thee funniest man alive, he makes school alot more exciting and fun.  I love our weird random talks that we have, we really dont hold back when it comes to conversations.  It's awesome to say the least.  Floral Design Im kicking ass in too, I really like that class, I have it with trudy, and it's alway nice to see her in the morning and her being goofy.  Drawing and Painting, I get a little rushed in at times, and get overwhelmed, but for the most part it's good.  Right now Im drawing a huge portrait of Cantenn, Hopefully it turns out good so I can give it to him for christmas.  * Crosses fingers*  And choir, well it's brauny.  I sit by blur tittys and Tarty, so it's fun.

Dance this year has been going alot better than last year if you can imagine.  Im so glad that were getting so much choreography done so fast.  We Finally have jazz funk done, and now were doing high kick.  High Kick REALLY gets you in shape!  We've had a couple "fucking reatarded" incidents that were blamed on the team, but we move on, and I think Raquel is getting better at being understanding, and not yelling so much. 

The major down side of dance is, I MAKE NO MONEY!  Ok I lied I do make some money, but christmas is coming up and I have people to buy for.  My mom is being greedy this year, so now im buying her something instead of just giveing her money.  Long story.  But im trying my best to make it a fun christmas.

Cantenn and I are doing very well.  He is the sunshine in my life, he makes my bad days seem like nothing.   He is such an amazing Boyfriend and person.  I'm so happy to have met himand blessed to have him in my life.  I love him SO much!

Well, I better be off, I have a Work meeting, well "work test" today at 10:30 and I m schueduled to be there till12, im kinda glad I dont have to work the whole day but at the same time it seems dumb to waste gas.  Oh well, atleast I get to see my girlfriend and Tarty!  After that Cantenn and I are making cookies!  And whatever else we have around here to make!

Love you all!

Lex

Hey everyone!

Everything has been going exceptionally well so far this year!  Im so excited for dance to be starting.  Kirst, Raquel and I started to choreograph the dance last night, and it was really well.  We got 4, 8 counts done, and were getting together again on friday I think.  And coach said she wanted us to get together on our day off, but it being Cantenn and I's 4 month, I really dont want to be doing choreography all day, but I do want to do some for part. 

WE are having a girls night on friday I think, and I have to work all freaking weekend!  I love my freaking life.  Saturday 10-5 and sunday 12-5, the shifts are the later ones but still I want to sleep, I have been up late all week and our new quarter is starting next week.  I have no clue what my classes are.  I have high hopes for dance this year, I hope it goes a little better then our first.  Im gonna be kept busy all the coming weeks with dance.  Eat, Sleep, Dance!  Literally. 

My mommy is doing good, she is a wonderful mom and I love her to death, and im so proud of her.  She is an amazing WOMAN! 

Love you all!

I hate ex- Boyfriends!!! Alot   They suck the big one!  But I love the rest of you!  ALOT!

xoxo

Lex

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Im VERY happy to report that trudy and cantenn will be attending the Him concet with out me.  Unforutnitly I have my ACT that morning at 8.  But im very happy they are both able to go, well lets just hope they get tickets.  YEsterday was fun even though the little Sophmores were pricks.  And derek giffird is thee coolest kid in the world! 

TOnight is homecoming!  Cantenn told me he doenst really understand the point of it, when we were at kasson waitin in the half mile long line, he thought it was just a label so that more people would come so they could make more money.  But I just said that to colleen and APPAERNTLy( I spelled that wrong)  it's for the college students to come back home.  HE is coming to the game tongiht, that will be nice.

So this morning I went to break fast with my lover.  He left a key to get in to he appartment in his car, and I came in and gave him a hell of a wake up, or should I say he gave me one ;).  I brought belle buiscets back over, and then we left to have some brefes.  It wasnt very good, but the company was. 

SO todya after school, If karly didnt get my pay check, im gonna pick it up.  Then IM gonna go home and cash it and get more money out for my mommy, the game, the dance, and chanhassen.  Trudy and I are gonna go to the mall she is gonna get her "Him" ticket and Im gonna get a shirt.  THen the game is at 6:30.  Then after htat time to get ready for the dance.  It's gonna be awesome.  The a girls night at kartlys and Chanhassen in the morning.  Busy busy.  But I love my life right now

Love you all!

Cantenn and I are going to the Big and Rich, Gretchen Wilson, and Cowboy Troy Concert on November 27th!

And I guess I am being forced against my will to go to the Him Concert

So Im tired.  I got up at 5:50 this morning and I got ready, and picked up my darling cantenn.  THen I waited for him to get ready and we went to Panera to get some yummy breakfast.  I love that boy to death he is letting me use his car while mine is getting all diagnosed, and fixed up.  And when my brakes were bad he drove my car places so I would be safe. 

Yesterday, I woke up to Cantenn laying on me giving me kisses.  :) it was nice.  THen he fell asleep and I woke him up like 5 times and he wouldnt wake.  SHit head.  He brought over Portabella Butter biscuit.  Or bella for short.  He... Well it has a Pink cage.  So anywho back to what I was talking about he finally woke up at like 12 I think.  THen I straightened his hair and boy did he look HOTT.  He looked so freaking emo.  ahhh * drools*.  THen sarah called and we decided to go to kates baby shower.  WE went for like half hour then I came back home and cantenn and I went out to SKy dragon.  WHen I was on my first  plate he watied for me to get my food then he devoured his food and by the time I was done with my first he was half way done with this third.  After that he got a mirror for 8 bucks.  THen we went home.  We decided to get inta juice.  And go to best buy so he could use the 20 dollar gift card I gave him.  HE was all excited when he saw  the "used" cd dvd combo with holiday alone, or somthing like that, and he got a Thursday cd.   Then we decided to go to hy-vee and see how much THe Big and rich, cowboy toy, and gretchin wilson concert.   WE ddidnt get the tickets but I know for sure I can go now.  SO this morning cantenn watied till 8 when the ticket master opened.  I dont know if he got them but I know he was so excited to go so I hope he gets them.  It would be fun.  ANd my mom said I could go and didnt heistate so that's cool.  He is so amazing to me, and treats me like a fucking queen.  I feel bad for ussing his car htough, he is to freaking nice and caring.  I love him, I love him.  ANd he can ALWAYS cheer me up he is always so happy to see me and greats me with kisses and hugs, and he is jsut a little bundle of  joy. 

Chanhassen Im so psyhced!  I love my girls!

Love you all!